Overview 

In 1 Peter 5:3, Peter appeals to church elders: “Shepherd God’s flock that is among you, serving as overseers, not grudgingly but willingly, as God desires, not because you are greedy for money but because you are eager to do it.” This is the essence of pastoral ministry – pastors shepherd the people God entrusts to their care.  

Privilege that it is, ministry can also be burdensome. For this reason, at ordination and subsequent installations, congregations are exhorted to respect, love, and support their new pastor so that he can carry out his work with joy instead of groaning, as Hebrews 13:17 reminds us. How far are congregations expected to go, exactly? After all, the shepherd takes care of the sheep, not the other way around! 

Still, pastors are people. Each one has his own “concrete reality of all their history, their personality, their interests and their circumstances—in all the strange mix that is their full humanity” (22). It is awkward for a pastor to ask for more support when, in most cases, the people he faithfully serves already dedicate considerable resources to provide for his well-being. But as humans, pastors need support that goes beyond financial compensation, weekly handshakes, and occasional encouragements. This is the reason Christopher Ash wrote The Book Your Pastor Wishes You Would Read (but is too embarrassed to ask).  

This book lays out the basic expectations a congregation can have of its pastor. Its focus, however, is the biblical expectations a pastor can have of his people as they seek to support him in his ministry. 

Evaluation

While specific pastoral duties differ from ministry to ministry, it is worthwhile to think about the basic expectations most people have of their spiritual shepherd. Ash identifies five main directives. Faithful pastors “will preach to us the gospel message of life in Jesus,” “pray for us,” “keep careful watch over our lives,” “equip us,” and “lead the church well” (27 and 29-30, emphases original). These are large tasks, especially when members are not as active as they ought to be or when a congregation is too large for one pastor to adequately shepherd. Pastors are not alone in their work, though. There are many duties that might be shared with others. Ash reminds pastors and members alike: “Delegation is evidence that our pastors do care for us, not that they don’t” (29).  

The main part of the book presents seven biblical virtues and their corresponding vices. These will significantly affect the joy of a pastor’s ministry. While Ash provides direct application for each virtue, he is more concerned with a specific mindset that is to be adopted by each member. Ideally, these things are what a pastor should be able to expect from any congregation he serves. The virtues are: 

1. “Daily repentance and eager faith.” Members bring joy to their pastor when they are eager to hear the Word of God and apply it to their lives. This is necessary even when the Word exposes a personal sin, flaw, or shortfall. Encouraging pastors in their faithful proclamation of the Word—both law and gospel—is a great way for members to make ministry less burdensome. 

1. “Committed belonging.” Ash identifies the isolation of members by how they often refer to the church in the third person. However, if the language transitions from “they” to “we,” that can be “the big marker” (52). In short, this chapter encourages Christian fellowship, the practice of building deeper relationships with others to support the ministry of the pastor.  

1. “Open honesty.” This is a two-way street. “If you are a pastor and your church members think you have it all sorted, then you are unwittingly deceiving them” (62). Likewise, “a church in which there is hiding, secrecy, and deception is a terrible parody of what the church of Jesus Christ should be” (62). This applies to how others talk behind closed doors about the pastor and his family, how a couple might be unwilling to ask for help in their marriage which, despite their best hidden efforts, leads to a shocking divorce, and how there may be some who refuse to be honest about their sin. Honesty strengthens a congregation and her pastor. 

1. “Thoughtful watchfulness.” While pastors are called to keep watch over the flock, “there is also a sense in which we will lovingly keep watch over them” (73). It is necessary, not just helpful, that members and leaders pay attention to their pastor to see if he is getting adequate rest or time with his family, or if he is growing in his knowledge by attending conferences or reading regularly, or that he is appropriately compensated so that he is not “so worried about money that it limits what [he] can do or causes unbearable stress” (79). Pastors do not need to be babied. At the same time, “pastoral ministry is draining, because people in need are draining, and it is in the nature of pastoral work that it involves intensive engagement with people in great need. All Christians rub up against sadness—but pastors are required to live with grief up close and personal” (77). The unique circumstances of pastoral ministry ought to bring about a unique alertness to the effects those circumstances might have on the health and well-being of the pastor. 

1. “Loving Kindness.” Ash highlights special acts or gifts that show appreciation for the pastor. Certain things may seem insignificant, but “free babysitting, little loving gifts, flowers, practical help with a baby, weeding a garden, house-warming presents… communicate to pastors… that they are loved” (87). Pastors can appropriately share other opportunities for the congregation to show their kindness to him in meaningful ways.  

1. “High expectations.” God’s Word certainly holds pastors to high expectations. Ash encourages laypeople to make these expectations clear so that a pastor does not become lax in his integrity. This includes the need to address a pastor’s public sin according to Matthew 18 and 1 Timothy 5 (96-7). 

1. “Zealous submission.” Pastors are neither CEOs to whom everyone else is accountable; nor are they employees who are accountable to congregational leaders. They are shepherds who are accountable to the Chief Shepherd. As long as the pastor leads the congregation in the direction of Christ and the gospel, Ash encourages members to follow him, so that the church would be full of neither “Absaloms” nor “apathy” (108). Instead, members will push in the same direction and assist the pastor to accomplish the gospel-centered goals he has set forward. 

Recommendation 

Christopher Ash has served as a pastor, church planter, theological educator, and author in England. He is best known for his publications on the Psalms. With a love for the Lord Jesus Christ and the holy Christian Church, Ash remains passionate about supporting pastors who are susceptible to frustration and burnout. Care and love for the under-shepherds of Christ comes through on each page. Would I personally ask the leadership at my current congregation to read this book? No, but it’s not because I’m too embarrassed to ask. I am quite well cared for. However, I know that is not the case for every pastor reading this.  

Regardless of the setting into which the Lord has placed you, this book is worthwhile. It is a healthy revisitation of what expectations the Lord places on those who aspire to publicly preach his Word. It also provides a helpful framework to address members as to what behaviors and mindsets are most useful to you as pastor and, therefore, to the rest of the church. As a bonus, it is a bite-sized book. Many could read the entire thing in less than a few hours.